I stayed up late last night (yes, 11PM is late for me. I’m
old, what can I say?) and didn't spend as much time playing with TheDexter
& TheAnnabelle pre-bedtime as I usually do. The following conversation
resulted.
For reference: TD =
TheDexter, TA = TheAnnabelle, Me = Me. Also, I have translated from Cat to
English so those of you who don’t speak Cat may also enjoy this, and because my
written Cat language skills are not nearly as strong as my verbal Cat language
skills.
TD (sitting on nightstand staring at me): Play?
Me (laying in bed, facing the nightstand): No, it’s sleepy
time.
TD (looks at TA, who is sitting on her throne in the closet,
then looks back at me): My union steward says this “sleepy time” you speak of
is not defined in our union contract. Play?!
Me (sighing): Actually, I believe it is defined in Addendum
B, paragraph 3 as any time the human(s) is/are laying in the bed, especially
when it’s dark, to facilitate the process of energy restoration.
TD (looks worriedly at TA, who shifts slightly, then looks
back at me): My union steward does concede that is in the contract; however, we
argue that since you did not fulfill the minimum “Daily Play Time” clause in
the contract that you cannot yet declare “Sleepy Time”. Play!
Me: No. I played with
you earlier in the day, in anticipation of this, and that play time is to be
included in the “Daily Play Time” calculations. It is sleepy time, go chase
your sister.
TA sits up and stares menacingly at as both.
TD (nervously): I wish to file a grievance then.
Me: A grievance? About what?
TD (gulps): For being denied the opportunity to fulfill the
duties for which I was hired.
Me: You were “hired” to chase, and be chased by, TA so we
humans could enjoy “Sleepy Time”. By all means, please, go fulfill your duties.
TA looks sternly at TD, jumps to the floor and leaves the
room.
TA (resolutely): Past practice indicates that is not true.
While that may have been the “official” reason for my hire, past practice
indicates that I was hired to be played with by you. If you do not play, I will
file my grievance and I will file it all night long. PLAY!
Me (reaching for the cat toy in the night stand): Fine. We
will play.
TD (distracted by the shadows created by a car pulling into
a parking space outside our window): Umm, never mind, I think I found something
more interesting. (TD jumps to the floor and begins to stalk the shadows before
turning back to me) But, I reserve my right to file my grievance at a later
time. (TD continues with his shadow stalking).
Me: Ugh. This is why unions are bad.
