Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Dad's Final "Resting Spot"
We went and spread dad's ashes last week. The most difficult part was the drive to and from the location dad had described (15 hours for TheHusband and me - each way) but his ashes are in the mountains now, just like he always wanted.
I found myself without words to say when Brother1 asked if anyone had anything they wanted to say. But what could I say?
"Be at peace"? That wasn't right. My hope has always been that Dad found the peace he had been searching for all his life at the moment of his death.
"Rest well"? Again, not quite right. I know that as long as he ended up with his heavenly father that he is resting well.
"Show us the way home"? It was something Brother4 said, but it just didn't ring true for me. Jesus Christ has been showing me the way home all my life. Also, I have been struggling with this aspect of Dad's death. I'm not 100% certain that he had made his peace with God before he died. This troubles me, the not knowing. But I also know that there is nothing that I can do about it one way or the other. I don't believe in purgatory. I don't believe that my prayers can help move him into heaven if he isn't already there. It's God's own grace, granted to us through our faith in His son Jesus Christ, and that alone that gets a person into heaven. When you're time here on earth is over, that's it. Game over, decision made, no redos. And so I pray for peace on this. That I don't waste my own life worrying about something I have no control over.
"Enjoy your mountain"? I don't believe Dad is even aware of what is happening with his earthly remains. Or even where they are. I feel that funerals, memorial services, etc. are rituals for the living. Necessary rituals, but for the living none the less. They are a way of sharing grief, giving support, remembering and sharing things about the deceased. I understand that many people want very specific things for their funerals/burial locations, but I can't even imagine that part of my own death, and so commenting on somebody else's final "resting spot" is difficult for me to do.
So maybe that's what this post is all about. Coming to terms with the term "Final Resting Spot". It really should be "Final Earthly Resting Spot" that people say. But that's just my opinion.
And Dad, even though I know you don't know what I'm thinking or writing, here's to hoping that your true final resting spot is in the arms of our heavenly Father.