Do Not Be Offended (Part 3)

In Part 1 I talked about what started me thinking about people finding offense where none was intended.

In Part 2 I wrote about a situation where Christians do this very thing during the Christmas season.

“And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace.” – James 3:18

So what do we do when we hear or see “Happy Holidays”? Well, first, let’s figure out if there really is any offense to be taken (and please don’t intentionally be nit picky about a situation to find offense). It’s usually pretty easy to tell and in about 99% percent of the cases (at least in my experience) there are only good intentions at the root of the greeting or farewell.

When we see it in advertising or some other generic type place (such as an end of year thank you some companies mail to their customers or employees) let’s keep things in context. A business which really appreciates its customers and/or employees and wants those customers to continue spending money (or wants their employees to continue to work hard) is not going to intentionally try to offend them. So a “Happy Holidays” in that context is an attempt to be as inclusive as possible without having to deal with the many societal and legal issues which can arise when you ask someone (especially an employee) what religion, if any, they practice.

When it’s on a more personal level, one individual to another, again, please keep things in context. For starters, how well does the person saying “Happy Holidays” really know you? I may talk to the drive thru guy at Taco Bell about once a week, but the only thing he really knows about me is the kind of car I drive, that I like a side of sour cream with my Fiesta Potatoes, and I always say thank you. Also, how many other people does the speaker come in contact with each day? They may just say “Happy Holidays” out of habit (I refer to the Taco Bell drive thru guy again) because they say it so many times each day.

If there is no offense intended, then your reaction can simply be to say Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas (nobody says you can’t say it in response to a “Happy Holiday”) in return.

A person’s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense.” – Proverbs 19:11

And what do we do on those extremely infrequent occasions where an offense is clearly meant by “Happy Holidays”? I say don’t take the bait. Overlook the “offense” and accept it with grace and love. Respond with grace and love. Now you don’t have to listen to me if you don’t want to, but there are plenty of biblical references to back me up on this:

• “Do not take revenge or bear a grudge against members of your community, but love your neighbor as yourself: I am Yahweh.” – Leviticus 19:18 (HCSB)
• “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, accepting one another in love, diligently keeping the unity of the Spirit with the peace that binds us.” – Ephesians 4:3-3 (HCSB) 
• “Don’t pay attention to everything people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you, for you know that many times you yourself have cursed others.” – Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 (HCSB) (other translations have “Do not take to heart all the things that people say. . . “) 
• “Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited, does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (HCSB) (I have also seen the “is not provoked” section written as “takes no offense” but I can’t find a specific translation with that version)
• “So then, we must pursue what promotes peace and what builds up one another.” - Romans 14:19
• “But I tell you, don’t resist an evil doer. On the contrary, if anyone slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.” – Matthew 5:39 (HCSB)

And those I’ve used previously in this series: Proverbs 10:12, James 3:18, Proverbs 19:11

Clearly, the message here is to love each other. Even those who mean to “offend” us. We are not supposed to keep track of offenses or hold a grudge, or try to get even. We are meant to LOVE and live in peace and patience with each other. Please, during this Christmas season, share the love God gave to us when he sent his Son to earth. Do not take offense at “Happy Holidays”, do not harden any hearts or minds to the love of Jesus by negatively responding to those simple words which are often meant as heartfelt good wishes.

And, Merry Christmas to all. (Even if you don’t believe in Christ, I wish you nothing but peace and joy.)

Do Not Be Offended (Part 2)

(In Part 1 I talked about what started me thinking about people finding offense where none was intended.
In Part 3 I talk about how we can respond to "offenses".)

“In fact, all those who want to live a godly life in Jesus Christ will be persecuted.”  - 2 Timothy 3:12

So the sentiment I started seeing that made me realize Christians were taking offense where none was intended was this:

“It’s not Happy Holidays, it’s Merry Christmas”

When I started seeing this message this Christmas season, the thoughts I was having about taking offense where none was intended suddenly had a whole new meaning. We Christians have been doing this exact thing. For years!

 I know there are people who vehemently believe that the retailers and individuals who use the phrase “Happy Holidays” are intentionally trying to put down or squash Christianity. While there may very well be some instances where that is the case, I don’t believe there is a widespread conspiracy. In fact I believe it’s really more of a recognition that the United States has fulfilled the dream of religious freedom for all people that our founding fathers (and by this I mean the men and women who fled from religious persecution by sailing across an ocean in WIND powered boats) imagined. There are quite a number of holidays and winter festivals (Hanukkah, Ramadan – on occasion, Christmas, a variety of Solstice celebrations/festivals, Kwanzaa, etc.) that take place during the months of December and January.

In order not to offend anybody (and to not break the bank with the cost of printing ads for all those different holidays) retailers use “Happy Holidays”. Also, it’s not always easy to determine if a person celebrates a particular holiday, especially if you’re in Minnesota bundled up in your winter attire (hat, gloves, heavy coat, scarves, etc), or in your car at the drive thru window. So what’s a person to do? Ask every individual they meet which holiday, if any, they celebrate? That’s ridiculously impractical, so they say Happy Holidays.

Despite the logic of people using the phrase “Happy Holidays”, Christians are still finding offense in it and I don’t understand why. Maybe someone else can explain it to me. During this time that is supposed to be a celebration of the love God showed to us by sending his son to us, shouldn't we be accepting these well wishes with grace and in the spirit in which they are intended?

Don’t get me wrong. I do believe Christians are, and Christianity is, being attacked in very real ways. I just don’t believe the use of “Happy Holidays” is one of those ways. The energy we waste on this topic could be used in much better ways. Also, the negative emotions (hostility, anger, hurt, etc) that emanate from the people who take offense to these words do nothing to share God’s love. In fact, it does the opposite and closes hearts and minds (because in a lot of cases the person who originally said "Happy Holidays" with no ill intent is now hurt/offended that you took it as having ill intent)..

An offended brother is harder to reach than a fortified city, and quarrels are like the bars of a fortress. – Proverbs 18:19 (HCSB)

Is that really what we want to do? Make spreading the word of God’s love and salvation even harder? I can’t speak for anyone else, but as for me and my house, we say heck no!

So what do we do when we hear or see “Happy Holidays”? Well, apparently, I will share my opinions on that in part three. (Seriously, when I started writing this I had no idea I would have so much to say. I just pray that my words and thoughts on this subject are pleasing to God and that He is the one who is inspiring them).

Do Not Be Offended (Part 1)

Hatred stirs up conflicts, but love covers all offenses.  - Proverbs 10:12 HCSB

A couple of weeks ago I watched a story online about a man who had donated a bag of clothes and shoes to a Goodwill store in Texas. Unbeknownst to the man, his wife had hidden their life savings of $3300 in one of the shoes he had donated. A worker at the Goodwill found the money in the shoe when he started to arrange the items on shelves. The worker reported his find to his manager and they set the money aside, just in case someone came looking for it. A few days later the wife of the man who donated the shoes came into the Goodwill store and was able to claim the money after she answered a few questions.

That’s the way things are supposed to work, right? Somebody finds something that may have been lost and they set it aside so the proper owner can claim it. Yes, that’s the way it’s supposed to work, but we all know this world isn’t perfect and is filled will things/acts/sins that shouldn’t happen. No one was with the Goodwill worker when he found the money and he could have easily just put it in his pocket and no one would have known about it.

But, he didn’t. He did the right thing and in the online comments of this story many people were praising him for his honesty and integrity. One commenter left a message saying “May God bless you for your honesty.”, and another commenter’s response to that message puzzled me and started the gears going in my head. They responded by saying something along the lines of, “Keep God out of this. God has nothing to do with it. How do you know that the person wouldn’t be offended by you asking your God to bless him?”

The response confused me. How could anyone be offended by a heartfelt sentiment of good wishes for their well being? Even if you don’t believe in the God, deity, spirit, concept, etc. that the person is using to express their desire for your well being; you can still accept their sentiment in the spirit in which it was given.  Why would you look for offense where none was intended?

Those were the thoughts and questions going through my head when I started seeing a certain sentiment being shared on the internet. It was a sentiment that I have seen each Christmas season for many years. In fact, I must admit, it is a sentiment that I once believed myself until I did a little research on the history of Christmas (which is a great subject for another post). What is that sentiment?

You’ll have to wait for my next post, because this post is already getting long. . .

(If you haven't figured it out already, don’t worry, I won’t leave you hanging for long. The next post is already written, mostly.)

Proverbs 31

The Words of Lemuel

¹ The words of King Lemuel,
    an oracle that his mother taught him:

² What [should I say], my son?
    What, son of my womb? 
    What, son of my vows?

³ Don't spend your energy on women
    or your efforts on those who destroy kings.

⁴ It is not for kings, Lemuel,
    it is not for kings to drink wine 
    or for rulers [to desire] beer.

⁵ Otherwise, they will drink,
    forget what is decreed, 
    and pervert justice for all the oppressed.

⁶ Give beer to one who is dying,
    and wine to one whose life is bitter.

⁷ Let him drink so that he can forget his poverty
    and remember his trouble no more.

⁸ Speak up for those who have no voice,
    for the justice of all who are dispossessed.

⁹ Speak up, judge righteously, 
    and defend the cause of the oppressed and needy.

   

In Praise of a Capable Wife

¹⁰ Who can find a capable wife?
    She is far more precious than jewels.

¹¹ The heart of her husband trusts in her,
    and he will not lack anything good.

¹² She rewards him with good, not evil,
    all the days of her life.

¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with willing hands.

¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from far away.

¹⁵ She rises while it is still night 
    and provides food for her household
    and portions for her servants.

¹⁶ She evaluates a field and buys it;
    she plants a vineyard with her earnings.

¹⁷ She draws on her strength
    and reveals that her arms are strong.

¹⁸ She sees that her profits are good,
    and her lamp never goes out at night.

¹⁹ She extends her hands to the spinning staff,
    and her hands hold the spindle.

²⁰ Her hands reach out to the poor,
    and she extends her hands to the needy.

²¹ She is not afraid for her household when it snows,
    for all in her household are doubly clothed.

²² She makes her own bed coverings; 
    her clothing is fine linen and purple.

²³ Her husband is known at the city gates,
    where he sits among the elders of the land.

²⁴ She makes and sells linen garments;
    she delivers belts to the merchants.

²⁵ Strength and honor are her clothing, 
    and she can laugh at the time to come.

²⁶ She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and loving instruction is on her tongue.

²⁷ She watches over the activities of her household 
    and is never idle,

²⁸ Her sons rise up and call her blessed.
    Her husband also praises her:

²⁹ "Many women are capable,
    but you surpass them all!

³⁰ Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, 
    but a woman who fears the LORD will be praised.

³¹ Give her the reward of her labor, 
    and let her works praise her at the city gates.

*****

I want to be THAT woman! Really, that's all I can say.

Genesis 1

The Creation

 

   ¹ In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

    ² Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness covered the surface of the watery depths, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters. ³Then God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. ⁴ God saw that the light was good, and God separated the light from the darkness. ⁵ God called the light "day," and He called the darkness "night." Evening came, and then morning: the first day.

    ⁶ Then God said, "Let there be an expanse between the waters, separating water from water." ⁷ So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above the expanse. And it was so. ⁸ God called the expanse "sky."  Evening came, and then morning: the second day.

    ⁹ Then God said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered into one place, and let the dry land appear." And it was so. ¹⁰ God called the dry land "earth," and He called the gathering of the water "seas." And God saw that it was good. ¹¹ Then God said, "Let the earth produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants, and fruit trees on the earth bearing fruit with seed in it, according to their kinds." And it was so. ¹² The earth brought forth vegetation: seed-bearing plants according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it, according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. ¹³Evening came, and then morning: the third day.

    ¹⁴ Then God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night. They will serve as signs for festivals and for days and years. ¹⁵ They will be lights in the expanse of the sky to provide light on the earth." And it was so. ¹⁶God made the two great lights—the greater light to have dominion over the day and the lesser light to have dominion over the night—as well as the stars. ¹⁷ God placed them in the expanse of the sky to provide light on the earth, ¹⁸ to dominate the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness.And God saw that it was good. ¹⁹ Evening came, and then morning: the fourth day.

Psalm 5

The Refuge of the Righteous

For the choir director: with the flutes. A Davidic psalm.

 ¹ Listen to my words, LORD;
    consider my sighing.   
² Pay attention to the sound of my cry, 
    my King and my God, 
    for I pray to You.
³ At daybreak, LORD, You hear my voice;
    at daybreak I plead my case to You and watch expectantly.
⁴ For You are not a God who delights in wickedness;
    evil cannot lodge with You.
⁵ The boastful cannot stand in Your presence; 
    You hate all evildoers.
⁶ You destroy those who tell lies; 
    the LORD abhors a man of bloodshed and treachery.
⁷ But I enter Your house
    by the abundance of Your faithful love; 
    I bow down toward Your holy temple
    in reverential awe of You.
⁸ LORD, lead me in Your righteousness, 
    because of my adversaries;
    make Your way straight before me.
⁹ For there is nothing reliable in what they say;
    destruction is within them;
    their throat is an open grave;
    they flatter with their tongues.
¹⁰ Punish them, God;
    let them fall by their own schemes. 
    Drive them out because of their many crimes,
    for they rebel against You.
¹¹ But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; 
    let them shout for joy forever.
    May You shelter them, 
    and may those who love Your name boast about You.
¹² For You, LORD, bless the righteous one;
    You surround him with favor like a shield.

*****

Oh, the sighing I am doing this week. Each morning has been a struggle to make myself go to work, and because of the way things are going at work, I certainly need to ask God to guide my path. 

Psalms 2 - 4

Psalm 2

Coronation of the Son

¹ Why do the nations rebel

    and the peoples plot in vain?
² The kings of the earth take their stand 
    and the rulers conspire together
    against the LORD and His Anointed One:
³ "Let us tear off their chains
    and free ourselves from their restraints."
⁴ The One enthroned in heaven laughs;
    the Lord ridicules them.
⁵ Then He speaks to them in His anger
    and terrifies them in His wrath:
⁶ "I have consecrated My King
    on Zion, My holy mountain."
⁷ I will declare the LORD's decree:
    He said to Me, "You are My Son;
    today I have become Your Father.
⁸ Ask of Me,
    and I will make the nations Your inheritance
    and the ends of the earth Your possession.
⁹ You will break them with a rod of iron;
    You will shatter them like pottery."
¹⁰ So now, kings, be wise;
    receive instruction, you judges of the earth.
¹¹ Serve the LORD with reverential awe,
    and rejoice with trembling.
¹² Pay homage to the Son, or He will be angry,
    and you will perish in your rebellion,
    for His anger may ignite at any moment. 
    All those who take refuge in Him are happy.

Psalms 1

The Two Ways

 ¹ How happy is the man
    who does not follow the advice of the wicked,
    or take the path of sinners,
    or join a group of mockers!
² Instead, his delight is in the LORD's instruction,
    and he meditates on it day and night.
³ He is like a tree planted beside streams of water
    that bears its fruit in season
    and whose leaf does not wither. 
    Whatever he does prospers.
⁴ The wicked are not like this;
    instead, they are like chaff that the wind blows away.
⁵ Therefore the wicked will not survive the judgment, 
    and sinners will not be in the community of the righteous.
⁶ For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, 
    but the way of the wicked leads to ruin.       Psalms 1

Hmmm. You think God is trying to remind me that spending time with Him and His word is a good idea? How appropriate that my renewed effort to spend time with God begins with this chapter. What a way for Him to reaffirm what He has been speaking to my heart these last few days. My own life/attitude has not been bearing fruit lately, instead I have been a withered tree not taking advantage of the life giving water He provides. I pray that God will remind me of these verses whenever I start to forget how important time with Him is.

Fessing up

Lately I have been extremely lax in spending time studying the bible. I could blame the increased work load this time of year brings at my job, or I could blame the physical effects (spondylitis/arthritis flare up) the extra work stress has triggered. But the truth is that I haven't made spending time with God a priority.

This lack of time spent with God and studying His word has been showing itself in how I have been dealing with the stress in my life. I have been short with people, crabby, and have generally had a bad attitude about things. I must put a stop to this downward spiral and spending time in God's word is the best way I know. In order to help me stay accountable, I will be posting a chapter or two from the bible each day. I will also be posting any comments or thoughts that I may have regarding each day's reading.

Please feel free to comment your own thoughts on the verses as well. I'm always interested in hearing/seeing how God's word speaks to others.

He Never Said It Would Be Easy

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed." - 1 Peter 4:12-13 (ESV)

Recently, I was speaking with a friend who mentioned that she was struggling with why God allows his faithful subjects to suffer. She specifically mentioned a family in her church. The father has been undergoing treatment for a brain tumor. Although he is currently in remission, he is still unable to work. His wife works and goes to school and takes care of him and their five children. He does as much as he can, but his treatments have left him weakened and unable to do all that he could before. And, even though he is in remission, the family knows that if/when the cancer returns it will be much more aggressive and it will be only a matter of time before he gets to meet Jesus face to face. Throughout these trials the family has remained faithful to God and His plan for them even though they do not understand it. They rejoice in the time they have together and give thanks for the relationships that they would not have otherwise had.

Calming the "Storm"

“And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they awoke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be Still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm." - Mark 4:37-39 (ESV)

Karen was an expert multitasker who worked in a busy office area. She could often be found working on long term projects while processing data for managers who needed the information right away and taking phone orders from customers. She was able to do all those things by skillfully, and selectively, tuning out most of the noise of the other people working around her.

On Fixing Potholes

“No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth to an old garment. If he does, the patch tears away from it, the new from the old, and a worse tear is made.” - Mark 2:21 (ESV)

While driving to work this past week, I was thinking grouchy thoughts about all the potholes in the road.  You see, every fall the work crews patch up those potholes by filling them up with asphalt, and every spring they reappear, seemingly worse than ever. Annoying, right? Yes, but there is a reason for it. You see the initial pothole is formed when moisture creeps below the road surface through cracks caused by traffic wear and tear (and this section of road is in an industrial part of town, so there's a lot of wear and tear). When the temperatures fall to below freezing, the moisture turns to ice and causes the pavement to rise. The heat from the traffic still driving on the pavement and/or a rise in temperature causes the ice to melt and a small space is created. This cycle continues until eventually the weight of traffic forces the pavement to actually break (because there's nothing supporting the part of the pavement) and creates the pothole.

Every Time I Hang by a Thread

“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand.” - Isaiah 41:10 (ESV)

After spending most of the evening in the hospital waiting room while her husband under went an emergency appendectomy, Sarah needed to go home and get some sleep. Her friends, who had graciously spent the evening with her, had gone home when Eric had come out of surgery and she was allowed to join him in the recovery area. It could hardly be called a "room", as there was only a thin curtain separating them from the other recovering patients and their families.

His Treasured Possession

“And the LORD has declared today that you are a people for his treasured possession, as he promised you, and that you are to keep all his commandments,” - Deuteronomy 26:18 (ESV)

Nancy had spent the day outside weeding her garden, mowing the lawn, and carefully nurturing her flowers.  It wasn’t until she went inside to make lunch that she realized her wedding ring was no longer on her finger.  She frantically searched her flowerbeds, garden shed, and everywhere else she could think of before calling her husband and confessing the loss. 

While her husband was saddened by the loss, he was very understanding.  It was, after all, only a ring and not what made their marriage work, and it could be replaced.  Nancy, however, was heartbroken.  Yes, it was only a ring, and really not that expensive when you got right down to it, but it was the ring her beloved had placed on her hand all those years ago when they pledged their lives to each other before their friends, family, and God.